Last week, Kentucky phenom Anthony Davis showcased more than his versatility on the court in leading the Wildcats to a National title. In fact, the big man’s skills and his squad’s dominate run through the tourney took a back seat to something much more impressive. Anthony Davis shamelessly sports a unibrow.
Long ridiculed and often despised, the unibrow has seeped through the underbelly of society, popping up now and then among some the world’s most respected individuals. But what was once a cult classic has now become mainstream. In honor of Anthony Davis’s coming out party, we give you MD’s Top Unibrows of All Time.
Subtle, serious, effective.
1. Josh Hartnett: “Heartthrob Unibrow”
Josh’s uni first burst onto the scene in the 1998 teenage thriller The Faculty. In a world where the brow was looked at with contempt, Josh glided through Hollywood, landing major roles in Black Hawk Down, Lucky Number Sleven, and Sin City. In the romantic comedy 40 Days and 40 Nights, women were given the impossible task of resisting Hartnett’s seductive singular.
Come together, right now.
One would have thought that George’s unforgiving unibrow would have spawned a frenzy of copycats during the British Invasion, but instead he boldly stood in a sea of predominately double-browed comrades. Like his versatile playing, George was able to dress his brow for any occasion, from shirt and tie to acid hippie flair.
The sky is the limit...
3. Anthony Davis: “The Allstar Unibrow”
Time will tell if Davis can ride the potential of his brow into infinite superstardom, but we have to like what we see so far. The 6’10″ freshman was simply unstoppable at times during the season, becoming an impenetrable fortress around the basket. In the championship game against Kansas, Davis’s unibrow corralled 16 rebounds and blocked six shots. A number one overall NBA draft selection is not unlikely for Davis come June, as long as he recognizes the source of his unlimited power. Public scrutiny will no doubt put pressure on the young lad’s brow, much like Adam Morrison’s mustache before it. Here’s to hoping we don’t see the same thing that haunted Morrison and ruined Samson in Biblical times.
4. Bert: ” The Sesame Brow”
Enough brow for the both of 'em.
Bert, take a moment to enjoy your day in the sun. You have always been thought of as the boring, studious one, while Ernie was loved for his light-hearted joking ways. But we are only now beginning to realize you were a trendsetter, for you were steadfast in your convictions and refused to mold yourself to the ever-changing ways of society. We are, of course, talking about your brow, a perfectly symmetrical arch that sits comfortably above your eyes, and contrasts well with your yellow skin. Your time is now, Bert. Besides, Ernie doesn’t even have eyebrows.
5. Eugene Levy: “The We Know You Have It In You, Time To Shine Brow”
Eugene, times are changing. We are shedding ourselves of antiquated conventions and accepting the beauty of the sole, the singular, the one. You are a recognized actor, writer, and musician, and your long, successful career is worthy of praise. But something is missing.
Realize your potential.
Now, with a new American Pie movie coming soon to theaters, what better way to celebrate your rejuvenated career than unleashing the one thing we knew you had all along: the unibrow.
